


And if I Perish

by YaeL (thesometimeswarrior)



Category: Jewish Scripture & Legend, Megillat Ester | Book of Esther, מדרש | Midrash, תנ"ך | Tanakh
Genre: Angst, Biblical Innuendo, Dubious Consent, Ficlet, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Purim, Self-Sacrifice, Triple Drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-10
Updated: 2017-03-10
Packaged: 2018-10-02 00:02:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10203869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesometimeswarrior/pseuds/YaeL
Summary: Mordecai is relieved, because he sees his niece and thinks she is still alive.She will not correct him, though she knows he is wrong.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [vaingloriousactor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vaingloriousactor/gifts).
  * Inspired by [my heart has turned to wax](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3490) by [cosmogyral](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmogyral/pseuds/cosmogyral). 



> Title from Esther 4:16

Mordecai smiles wide when he sees her walk past the palace gate, after. He had been nervous, terrified, she knows, no matter what he might have said, that she would not return from her unannounced audience with the king. So now he is relieved, because he sees his niece and thinks she is still alive.

She will not correct him, though she knows he is wrong.

His niece is dead, died for the sake of her people long before the villain cast his lots. 

_We are strangers here_ , her uncle had said. _Still, after all these generations. The king will not be kind to us._

When they had come to gather the virgins, she did not resist. _The king will not be kind to us. I will give him reason to be._

So, yes, their people will be saved. She is confident that the king will choose her over his advisor, especially at a banquet, with all that wine pumping through his veins. But it is not with his heart that he loves her, not for his heart that he has and will choose her, not just his heart that throbbed when she was ordered and brought to his bed. 

She will save their people. But she will still also come to him when asked, wearing the crown he gave her, and perhaps _just_ the crown he gave her. She will touch the tip of his scepter again and again and again and think nothing of it, try to think nothing of it, try to think nothing, nothing at all…

She is the queen. She will remain the queen. 

_We are strangers here. The king will not be kind to us._ Her uncle had shown her Mount Moriah. But Hadassah climbed it alone, carrying her own knife. 

Only Esther descended.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Purim! (Though I know this is not a happy story...)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed! I love comments!


End file.
